


Take Back

by Chance13



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen, Loki Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-28
Updated: 2013-07-28
Packaged: 2017-12-21 15:36:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/901963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chance13/pseuds/Chance13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oneshot on the colour of Loki's eyes, and how they change during his failed attempt at controlling Midgard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take Back

**Author's Note:**

> So I was reading a FanFiction, thought of this and had to write it. Isn't that how it always goes? Sorry it's so depressing; it's a combination of an extremely well done post-Avengers punishment/torture scene (Redemption Song by Aisling-Siobhan), and a new blog I found on Tumblr (In The End I Will Always Kneel – mostly hilarious actually) which had me in tears three times in one evening.

The blue was gone, eyes returned to their normal bold green colour.

The second time you saw the blue eyes, the third, the fourth, the fifth, it was no surprise; you saw how the victims acted, how out of the norm it was. It was expected by then.

But the first, the first time it was terrifying; to see that bright, beautiful green tainted, shining that ominous blue glow instead. Back then when you didn't know what was going on, what had gone wrong.

The blue eyes, the glow, was the mark of Thanos' work, matching the light of the Tesseract's magic. When you think about it, really think about it, it makes sense. The power Thanos used it wasn't mind-control, not really, not at first. To begin with it was more of a compulsion. Little wisps of magic dancing through the air until they find their subject, and then like little fishhooks they attach themselves into your mind. He feeds off all the negative emotions, every single one from the day you were born.

That must be why it worked so well on him, I suppose. Every single negative emotion, from thousands of years of life. Every spike of envy, of jealousy, of being treated as unworthy, as less than his brother. Every shred of self-loathing when he is unable to complete a training exercise, when his physical prowess is compared to Thor's, yet again, when he is laughed at for enjoying the comfort of books, where he can hide and is protected from their harsh words, where he is not judged and can flourish, when he is scorned for practicing magic, a 'woman's art'. Every jolt of sorrow when he was left alone, abandoned: by his father, by his so-called 'friends', by his adopted family, and finally by Thor. And they try and take it back – if you're lucky. They say they didn't mean it, they try to apologise, but if they didn't mean it, really didn't, why would it have even been a passing thought through the flurry of their minds? Why would it have enough power to seek residence in their thoughts? Why would it gain enough control to be carried out? And then he is left, in the cold and the dark.

And then when the hooks have wormed their way in, taken hold, found all the thoughts, the hatred and, above all, the self-hate, and it absorbs it, using the power this gives it to grow and prosper, leaving their mind to fester in the dark. And then, then, after all this Thanos sends in the little thoughts. How, if he does this then someone will love him. If he does this people will care. If he does this he won't have to be ashamed anymore. If he does this he will have proven himself, and his father will be proud. If he does this, then someone will notice.

And now the blue is gone, broken and shattered, and has run, fleeing back to its master. The green is back. Finally he has control again, and for the first time in months he can actually see properly, he can think, he can breathe. But no one else has noticed the colours change. No one cared enough to think it through, not even the brother who said he loved him so much. The blue is gone and the green is back, but to everyone else he is still a monster, a tale to scare children with. So now, as if all this suffering, these hundreds and hundreds of years of suffering, were not enough, he must now be punished. Because nobody cared enough to look.

**Author's Note:**

> So how upset did I manage to make everyone? I'm in the mood for a Loki-pity-party right now. I just feel he is such a fascinating character, and I've barley even touched on him.


End file.
